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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
 The ball hit one of the men.  

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
 

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize, 
 “please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if  you’d allow me,” she told him.  

“Oh, no, I’ll be all right.  I’ll be fine in a few minutes“  the man replied. 

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.  

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.  

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.  

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that
>feel?”  

He replied, “It feels great ………but my thumb still hurts like hell !” 

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she can join them.
 
Naturally, the guys all agreed. Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, “Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don’t try to coach me on how to play my shots.”
 

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.
The father’s mouth was agape. “That was beautiful,” he said. The blonde put her driver away and said, “I really didn’t get into it, and I have faded it a little.” After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole (She was closest to the pin.)
The son said, “Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.”
 
The blonde frowned and said, “It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I’ve left a tricky little putt.” She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.
 
Having the honour, she drove first at the second hole, knocked the hell out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.
 
For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.
 
When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, “I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I’d really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole, I’ll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strathmill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.
 
The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eying the line of the putt and finally said, “Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.
 
The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. Don’t listen to the kid, darlin’, you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.
 
The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde’s ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, “That’s a gimme,  sweetheart.”
 
The blonde smiled and said, “Your car or mine?”
 
 
OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME SKILL AND YOUTHFUL VITALITY EVERY TIME.!!

You can find some great golf articles here

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The Frog
said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for,your husband will get ……. times ten!”

The woman said,”That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man that ever lived, an Adonis whom women will swoon over and flock to”.

The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM!!! - She’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said,” That will make your husband the richest man in the worldby
far. And he will be ten times richer than you. “The woman said,

“That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM!!! - She’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and after
carefulconsideration

she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

ATTENTION female readers: This is the end of the joke for you.

Stop hereandcontinue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they’re reallysmart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to

show that women are nosey cows and never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who

have a good sense of humour.

Feel free to contribute your favourite golf joke here, please keep them clean